Saturday, February 19, 2011

BIRTHDAY QUESTION plz answer.....

I want everyone that reads to please answer so I can gather the more normal response.
I'm wanting to know..
when you have kids birthday parties.. is it acceptable to only offer cake?
AND if you make people go to a fast food restaurant, is it acceptable to expect them to buy their on food...
Honestly. I say NO on both accounts.. but everyone is different. maybe its a southern hospitality thing.. bc ive seen two navy wives, both from north and actually a 3rd from the west do it, and I'm wondering, is it a location based thing? Is that the norm now? I always thought that was part of being a good host.. am I wrong?
I'm not trying to ruffle feathers, just wondering if I AM not the norm?

5 comments:

~ Noelle said...

well, we just had my sons party...
today... and i had cake/ice cream / coke, water tea and juice...
that is it...

Country Wife said...

As my name says, in the country....we would never host an event and NOT feed our guests! Good gracious...my mama would be shamed to call me her own! Whether we make it ourselves, or purchase it. My son just attended a birthday party that was from 12:30 to 3 pm and all they had was cake and ice cream. I didn't feed him a lunch because I assumed they would have lunch. I was not happy....he was not happy - he was starving!
Here is the proper etiquette:
1. If your event occurs over a meal time, eg. lunch can be from 11:30 to 2 pm...you have to feed your guests! And asking them to pay their own way AND bring a gift....not acceptable. If you can't afford to feed your guests....then you should not be having a party.
2. If the event does not take place during a normal meal time, eg. 2 - 4 pm, then the guest should not assume to be fed: beyond say cake and ice cream for a kids birthday party. (however, if you are a proper host, you will provide something - even if just finger food/munchies.)
I also recently attended a swim party where the adults were asked to stay to help with supervising the children (age was 6 and under). They provided pizza and cake for the kids...but didn't have enough pizza for the adults! When they asked us to stay. nay, nay. not nice.
Information is power....if you proceed, at least forewarn your guests.

Nikki said...

Only cake? No. I'd offer at least some beverages, ice-cream and maybe some chips and dip if it was a non-mealtime party. As for the second question, I think it would be really weird to invite people to a fast-food place for a party, then say "oh, by the way, you have to buy your own food." I'm from the north too, and I don't know anyone who would do either thing. I did take my son to a party recently that was a little weird. They only had cake, no other food, and they looked at me like I was rude for asking if they had anything for my son to drink. I had never met them before, my son started kindergarten this year and gets invited to a lot more parties where I don't know anyone. We always have way too much food at our parties!

Anonymous said...

Country wife.. I def agree.. and they do have beverages but still... yes there was another birthday party I went to with like 15 kids and 15 adults, and only one bag of chips.. and a cake so mall the kids had a hard time sharing it. I agree with everything you said. I do not feed my kids before a birthday party, bc I assume there will be junk food and I do not want my kids to be overweight. So we go to these things starved.. Honestly, I feel bad for the restaurants. TWO were at chick fil a bc chick fil a has an indoor playground. I'm sorry, but when I had my childs party at chick fil a, I was a good host.. And I bought over 100$ in party platters, (bc I didn't want to uy their birthday party package) i got way more food. spent about the same amount of money, the party was a HUGE success, (bc I told everyone I'd be feeding them well) No, its not about the food, its about your child having a good time, but its hard to get people to come to birthday parties, and you also want to be a gracious host. The absolute strangest birthday party even to happen to me, is:

I'm a navy wife, if you didn't catch that already, and when Kindergarten was starting, we didnt know anyone in this town, still, kinda dont. Anyhow school had been in session a week. If you invite one child in the class, you have to invite them all. (Which was fine..) Now I knew no one would come because they didn't know us. I was right... mostly. Three parents brought their kids. One woman emailed me, (i put my email to rsvp on the invites..) and wanted to know if she could "drop her kid off"... Yeah, sure! I was tempted to tell her, "I'll be sure to give her a puppy and couple of red bulls while shes here!" UM, ... NO! No, you cannot "drop your kid off" with someone you dont know, having a water slide party and your kid is only FIVE! This is a birthday party.. not free babysitting! JEEZ! I so wish kids were born with that manual attached.. some of these parents REALLY need it..

Amber said...

Wow. No way is it acceptable! I always at least have a few bags of different kinds of chips, some dip, cake and ice cream, variety of sodas. If it is meal time, we have done hot dogs or pizza before. And having it at a fast food place and making your GUESTS (emphasize the word GUEST, if that means anything to anyone) purchase their own food? Thats terribly rude! I dont know if it is location based or if these people mothers just didnt teach them proper etiquette, or maybe they are just rude or selfish people. In any account, no it is not okay.

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